So, A Friend and I Were Talking...

...And, of course, we were talking about men and relationships because that's what chicks do, right? Right. That and shop for shoes...which is a whole 'nother post! I may not know men, but I damn well know shoes. Later, in another post, I will tell you which shoes you should buy for the fall...because we all know what pitiful excuses for footwear you have now and that you're bound to screw it up come fall if I don't help you.

Anyway, back to the man discussion. We were talking about the "macho" factor. You know, that quality that some men have that says, "I'll stick up for you," "I'll protect you," "I'll fight for you if I need to." This girlfriend and I have never been with a man who possesses this quality. And, frankly, it's something we've always wanted. We like it. We want it. We think it's hot.

Now, on to the men we HAVE been with...these men have witnessed us being chewed out, called names, and generally humiliated by other men. That's right. By other men. It's not like our dudes were trying to avoid a hissy fit between girls. They sat and observed another man belittling us...and did nothing because, as they said to us later, "I didn't want to cause a scene." Cause a scene? You were scene-adjacent and did nothing. There WAS a scene, buster. And now everyone post-scene is talking about what a wussy you are. One time at a company party, I had another man, one I barely knew, apologize to me for my then-husband's lack of balls when he failed to do anything other than twiddle his girly thumbs while some jerkface chewed me out.

This girlfriend and I have had multiple conversations about how nice it would be to have that "macho" factor in our men. But, then, I observed something about a week ago that made me question this.

Some friends and I were out one night (MainGay was there), and we ran into some acquaintances from high school. One of the girls was there with her husband. We had never met him before, but he seemed nice enough. UNTIL...he was told, very politely by a server, that the bar had stopped serving food about 15 minutes ago. He was livid. It was like a switch had flipped. And he became angrier and angrier as he watched food come out of the kitchen. Now, clearly, the food that was coming out of the kitchen had been ordered before the kitchen closed, but he wasn't having it. He became ridiculous and impossible. And an asshat to everyone around him.

Yesterday, I told my girlfriend about this episode. She concluded that he was probably the type of "macho" guy who would come to his wife's defense if someone was belittling her...but that same quality that made him angry enough to confront a stranger for his wife also made him angry for other reasons, too. We deduced that he probably had similar outbursts for lots of non-chivalrous reasons, like when he lost his keys or his soup was cold.

We decided that we've given too much credence to the "macho" thing. Not that I wouldn't love a man who stood up for me, but clearly there are degrees of this quality. There might be something to be said for that strong, silent type my mom always told me about.

P.S. My current dude came to the rescue, by the way, and found this jerkface food. Again, it was like a switch had flipped. He became pleasant and chatty and perfectly lovely...but you bet your sweet, sweet ass we were all talking about him at breakfast the next morning.

Peace out, my lovelies
Annabelly