We GOTS to Talk about Muscles...

Well, I hadn't planned on telling you peeps much about Muscles since I'm currently smooching and groping him, but...DAMN, the man is driving me crazy. He has GOT to be the sexiest, muscliest, possibly bipolarest (yes, I know est doesn't belong on two of those words. Sue me) guy ever. EVER.

He is, alternately, supersweet and supercranky. This past weekend at MainGay's house, he was fantastic. But the last two nights on the phone he clearly had his manties (male panties. duh) in a wad. A big wad. He was short with me, seemed aggravated with me, and clearly did not want to talk to me. Then why did he call me? Last night was the worst. Apparently saying things like, "yes, uh-huh, I understand" during a pause in the conversation is rude. He considers it interrupting. I was unaware he felt this way. I was unaware that anyone felt this way. I enjoy a back-and-forth banter. He does not. At one point he said, "Look, am I telling you the fucking story, or are you telling me the fucking story?" And he said it angrily. And loudly. He followed it with, "You're always interrupting. It's like you're always trying to steer the conversation."

Yikes. I did not enjoy that. I also did not agree with his assessment of my conversational skills, which, clearly, are stellar. Ask anyone. Ask Padma or Tamara or MainGay. Just don't ask Muscles. Anyway, a few hours after this lovely convo, I get a text from MainGay: "You will never believe the incredible thank you email Muscles sent me (about the weekend). Fairly long and EXTREMELY heartfelt. I'll read it to you and, trust me, you're going to officially declare "underwears" to be perfectly acceptable!"

I haven't seen the email yet, but I have no doubt that it is extraordinarily heartfelt. That's him...sensitive and observant and heartfelt. Except for when he's not. And then he's SuperCrank.

Today he called and said, "Guess what? I was an ass yesterday. I apologize. I could make excuses, but I won't because that's disrespectful to you. That's it. I was a huge ass, and I'm sorry. Also, I know I kinda griped a lot yesterday and never asked about your day. So, I'm gonna sit here and listen, and I really want to hear about it. I'm all ears. To be honest with you, it's been several days and I haven't asked about you at all, and that's wrong. You know I love me some Annabelly, so start talking, Hotness." See - ass then sweetheart.

I want to strangle him, then make out with him. UGG.

That is all,
Annabelly