Let's be honest...how many of these kids are going to remember how to solve quadratic equations? How many of them (beyond high school) are going to NEED to know how to solve quadratic equations? However, they can still benefit greatly from my knowledge. Because, let's face it, I know things. In honor of back to school time, here are a few classes I wouldn't mind teaching.
Actually, here's just the first one...I'll post the rest after dinner. Deal.
1. Naming Your Children 101: Some of these students have some f'd up names. Trust me, people, come down off your acid trip and your wacky weed buzz before naming your children any of the following: Aquanetta (hello, the 80's hairspray standby?), Charmin (tp for your bunghole, anyone?), Chastity (trust me, she will be the one knocked up with twins by age 15 and will appear on an episode of Maury Povich's "Who's my Babydaddy?"), or Cherry (lots o virginity jokes), or Waldo (the next person who says "Where's Waldo?" in my class is getting a smack to the head. I plan on telling the principal this kid just tripped.)
I like it when the names have commas in the sky in them. Like D'aquanita or Ravejur'a. Those are awesome.
ReplyDeleteWTF is a quadratic equation?
ReplyDeleteI really hope Aquanetta is the spawn of a chick I went to middle school with who WAS named Aquanet. Shreveport, baby! BTW, can we talk about the kids with these messed up spellings? One of my kids got a party invitation from a kid named "Baileigh" this week.
My favorite name of a kid I taught I can't even remember how to spell. Damn. I was all ready to share it with you and then realized the spelling has escaped me. Khyzemah? Kazyehmah? Something like that.
ReplyDelete