Stupid Students...

It occurred to me that I never finished telling you about Motorcycle. Oh well. Here's the short version - he kept flirting. A lot. He kept asking me out. I kept declining. The flirting escalated with him eventually telling me something extremely naughty that he wanted to engage in while we were on his motorcycle. Anyway, I never did go out with him.

The end.

Here's my point, though...well, the point I'm trying to make today. Students are weird. For every Mary Kay La-Whats-It (I can't remember her name. You know - the one who boinked her extremely underage student), there are probably 10 students trying to get somewhere with a teacher. And by somewhere I mean naked city. Yes, this is gross. Yes, this is wrong. No, I never had fantasies about bumping uglies with one of my teachers. EWWW - I just had a baby barf. Anyway, trust me, peeps, these stupid students are trying.

Take today, for instance. I have been assigned a teacher's assistant (TA) one hour. My TA is a guy; he is a senior. He has decided that he has a crush on me. He has told people this. He walks by my room constantly. He compliments my hair, my teeth, my shoes. Today he got a sticky note and wrote a date on it; he stuck this to my computer. Here's our conversation:

Me: "J, what is this?"
J: "My birthday."
Me: "You're telling me months in advance? Yeah...I won't remember that. Also, I wasn't aware I was supposed to celebrate my TA's birthday. Don't expect much...guess I could bring you some gum."
J: "But it's an important birthday."
Me: "They're all important when you're young. Eventually, you'll want to ignore them."
J: "But I'll be 18."
Me: "Goody for you. Congratulations. We're all proud."
J: "So I'll be legal."
Me: "I don't want to hear about that."
J: "Aww, c'mon, Ms. A. Your niece told me you were single. Soon as I turn 18, I'm asking you out...or do I have to wait until I graduate?"
Me: "You can wait til I'm drawing Social Security; it's still never gonna happen. Don't be gross. Now go sit in the back of the class."
J: "Will you at least dance with me at Homecoming?"
Me: "Gross. I will not."

Like I said, gross. I have said this before, but it needs to be repeated: I cannot attract a man my own age to save my life. Where is the 35 year old single man? Hell, even if you tell me...or place him right in front of me...he wouldn't want me. Now, take an 18 year old moron or a 55 year old paw paw...and they will love me and possibly stalk me. Gross.

Grossly yours,
Annabelly